Mixed Bag

I have a mixed bag right now... A mix of good and bad news that is... Let me start by saying a story and then you'll know why...

Monday morning (June 23), hubby and I decided to go to my OB a day early for my check up mainly because I have been experiencing pain for a couple of days very similar to menstrual cramps and so off to the doctor we went, leaving our cellphones in the house. Upon arrival at the hospital, I went straight to get a transvaginal ultrasound (as instructed by my OB a couple of weeks back). While lying back and waiting for the sonologist, I closed my eyes and said a prayer that this time they would tell me everything's going smoothly and my baby's just fine but when the sonologist started the procedure, the first thing she asked me was "nag-bleeding ka ba?" (did you experience bleeding?) and I said "no" and then after a couple of seconds she asked again "nag-spotting ka ba?" and I answered "no" again but I was starting to feel panic already. Again, after a couple of seconds she said "when you peed before the trans-v did you see blood?" and quite impatiently I said "no, nothing... why?" but she only said "your doctor will explain to you later" making me worry even more. By that time, I was fighting the urge to cry because in my mind I was already thinking the worst and then after a few more seconds I heard something, a soft beating of some kind and the sonologist said "that's your baby's heartbeat" and then pointing at the screen she said and that's your baby. At that time, I didn't know whether I was going to say thank you or slap her silly for making me think the worst. Tears just started falling down my face and a surge of relief came over me. While waiting for the printout of the ultrasound report Charlie and I were already excited to talk to my OB and go to my parents house to share the good news. The doctor said I had minimal subchorionic bleeding and that the baby was a bit small for it's gestational age so she instructed me to go on bedrest until I have hurdled my first trimester which was in a month's time and prescribed new vitamins and duphaston for the bleeding. It was a minor setback that I was willing to accept considering it was really a blessing that this miracle of life is slowly revealing it's wonders to us. From the hospital we went straight to my parents' home and imparted to them the news. We had lunch there and rested for a couple of hours before heading home (stopping by the drugstore for the medications, first of course). When we arrived at our house around 3pm, Charlie found his phone had 10 missed calls already from his cousin in Ilocos and a text message saying "Insan san ka? tawag ka, importante lang!" (cousin where are you, please call, it's important) but before he could even make the call, his phone started ringing again and when he answered his cousin told him that his father (who has been bed-ridden for almost a year now after suffering from 3 strokes in the past 4 years) is already asking for him (Charlie) and from the looks of it, is not going to last for long anymore. Of course, my hubby was shocked with this piece of news, he said he would not be able to go to Ilocos right away since the following day, Tuesday (June 24) was Manila day, was a holiday therefore he wouldn't be able to ask for leave from his superiors, besides he didn't think it was wise to leave me alone. But I said I would be fine and should probably stay at my parents' house while he was gone... Anyways, to cut it shorter, it was decided that he was going to go home to Ilocos on Wednesday night instead while his older brother would be going home Tuesday night. Upon arrival in Ilocos on Thursday morning, Charlie found his father has already died. Which was too bad because he wasn't able to say goodbye properly but he was able to accept it fairly well considering he has been suffering for a long time already. At least Tata, would have no more pain anymore... Charlie's still there because the burial is set for tomorrow, Tuesday (July 1) and I miss him a lot but I wasn't allowed to follow him due to my doctor's orders. As for me, My official leave from work starts today, unfortunately my one-month leave is going to be without pay and so, it's going to be a bit of a stretch financially for us... But so far, I have not been experiencing pain anymore and my parents and siblings has been feeding me all kinds of healthy food. I am being treated like a princess, not having to lift a finger when I need something. And Charlie has been calling me everynight assuring me that everything's going to be just fine and we will soon be together again to take care of our baby. That's it, that's my mixed bag...

P.S. More of my baby's 8 weeks and 1 day ultrasound when I get to scan it later...