Wanted: Nanny

Last night hubby and I found out that his cousing who we were expecting to come and live with us next week to help out with the coming of Adam isn't coming anymore.  I don't want to elaborate on her reasons for not coming because that's her problem... But now, she gave us a problem.  All the while, I was thinking I'm lucky that I don't have to worry about hiring a stranger to act as nanny to Adam when I go back to work after my 60-day maternity leave, but now I'm at a loss as to what I'm going to do.  I'm very meticulous when it comes to running my household and so I'm not very keen on hiring a house help.  Specially before... It was only Charlie and I who lives in our apartment and we do most of the house chores ourselves.  Of course, it's going to be different now that we will be having a baby.  We can't afford for one of us to stop working yet because we're still making payments to a house we bought last year.  We haven't even started improvements on that house yet (which, naturally, will bring about more expenses) because we're still saving for that.  Hmmm... now I have to figure out something that will iron out the creases in my now crumpled plan!

Hiring a nanny is the only option I have now, but I don't even know how to start or how to go about finding one.  Plus there is the stranger factor... I mean it's hard enough to entrust your baby to a relative while you go to work, it's triple hard pa to do so with a total stranger!  I mean, if I find one in an agency, am I assured that that person would be less likely to run off with my baby?  Gosh, am I paranoid or what?

Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night thinking of what to do and now I'm typing away, early in the morning... fooling myself into thinking that if I write about it, if I voice out my concerns, a lightbulb will eventually light up and I will find the "great" solution to my dilemma...  But that's just wishful thinking... Now I have to first shut up about it and think hard.  Besides, I have a schedule for a check-up today.  I don't want to look stressed when I go to my OB.