Perditi Diem

Remember I said a couple of posts ago that I will give a detailed "kwento" of the wish I thought was granted but was not pala? Here goes:
My monthly period, before I started medication for PCOS, was super irregular. But after a couple of months of strict compliance with the doctor's orders, my period became a regular monthly event, nyahahaha! (event daw, o!) And then came August... after eight months of regular monthly events, and when I say regular I mean on the expected day talaga ha, dadating sya, me period did not come on the expected day... so I waited... one week, still no period but I didn't want to get my hopes up so soon... on the middle of the second week of delay, I started getting cramps and breast tenderness so I thought, ok, it just got delayed, it's coming now...but still not a single drop came...by the end of the second week I decided to buy an pregnancy test kit. I didn't get to use it though because the next day I got my period... or so I thought... after several drops and a lot of pain, the flow stopped. And so my husband decided to take me to my OB because he was super concerned already that I was in too much pain. So I told my OB the story, she just adviced me to put a hot water bottle on my tummy to ease the pain and said if my period does not come till the next day I should use the EPT kit and text her the result. So the next day, when still no flow came, I tested myself and got two lines... POSITIVE!? I questioned the test because there was one very distinct pink line while the other one is blurred and very faint. I texted my OB right away and she scheduled an ultrasound the following day explaining that the HCG might not be that high yet and the cause for the short bleeding a couple of days before was just implantation or something... On the day that I was supposed to get the ultrasound, it came... painful and heavy. I called my OB and informed her of the new development. She said to come in for a check up after the period na lang but if I experience nausea, excessive bleeding or unbearable pain that I should check myself in at the hospital right away. There was none of that, thankfully! Because I wouldn't have been able to bear it if I found out that I got pregnant but lost it anyway... I could live with the fact that it was just another "false alarm"... it was just not the time yet...
I once read a children's story about a roman emperor named Titus. At the end of everyday he liked to sit and contemplate on the things that he did good for the day. When he asks himself "What good have I done today?" and nothing comes to mind, he writes in his diary "Perditi Diem" meaning "I have lost a day" because he feels that a day that passes when he has not helped anyone or has one way or another done something good is a day lost.
Now, why did I recall this story? Because when I found out that I had another "false alarm" -- meaning I lost another chance at conceiving during this month's cycle I immediately thought... "Pediti Diem". But that's all in past now... there are things that are to be thankful for. Like now, at least I know that my cycle is going on its rightful, normal path. I can endure the cramps, the pain is bearable so long as I know there is a higher chance of getting pregnant.
Oh, and one more thing to be thankful about: today I got a memo containing my promotion/transfer... YEY! I know its effectivity will not be for another 10 days but at least that's one thing off of my "things to worry about".
Now it's back to work for me because getting transferred does not mean you get to leave the paperwork to your successor... it means you have to finish the work that was assigned to you before you start working on the new ones that you will get once you transfer!

Kiss Quiz

I got this from Thet... just wanted to post something light after a couple of cryptic, slightly heavy posts...

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it. You have the confidence to make the first move. And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best. Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

Imagine that?! I would never have thought that I would be classified as an amazing kisser.. nyahahaha! I guess it comes with having lots of practice... nyahahaha!

September

A lot has happened since my last post... lots of confusing events occured that might cause a series of more confusing happenings in the future. At work, I only have until the middle of this month, not exactly to decide because it really isn't up to me anymore, to wait and see what my future will bring me career-wise. I still don't know if I would get promoted and transferred to a different department or will I be retained in my current post or worst yet, if I would get transferred to a different department much more demanding in terms of work-load without promotion nor additional compensation. What's a girl to do? I am not one of those whatever happens, devil may care kind of girl... I worry about things like this... I worry that if worse comes to worst, I might have to resign and find employment somewhere else. But this would be the absolute last resort that I would go to because I already hold a regular/permanent position now and although the work is not as rewarding as others, still having security of tenure is a big plus.

There are also several other confusing occurences in my life lately that I don't have the guts to elaborate for fear of stirring up the calm I currently feel after the turbulence of the past several days. I don't want to open up old wounds... and deep wounds they are. If I talk about it I would remember the pain and confusion again and I can't go through that just yet. As for the cryptic post prior to this one, it's a definite NO already... The time has not yet come for me to yell "SUCCESS!" (a more detailed post about this to come later).

All in all the last week of August and the first two days of September proved to be difficult for me. I have not lost hope though... I continue to be optimistic that this is just a passing phase... several bad days that shouldn't even be given that much attention considering the many good years that God has blessed me with.

Wish Granted?

Could this really be the long-awaited answer to our prayers? Is this really it? Would this post be filled with unanswered questions? Unfortunately, I can not be more precise than this... I still don't have the guts to make an announcement without waiting for an official confirmation. Too cryptic? I guess those who have been following my posts would have an inkling as to what I am trying not to write about... Let's wait and see... Hopefully, I could muster up enough patience to keep this under wraps for as long as I have no substantiation from the "proper authorities".

Birthday Bash

Long vacation... long hours of making up at work... That's why this post is long overdue. First of all let me thank Ann for the recipe gift and for the greetings. Bear with me sis, for I have a mountain of paperwork to finish at work first before I can send you the header thingie. Anyways, since my birthday fell on a Holiday, my family and I got to enjoy a simple yet filling and memorable lunch. I cooked Beef Caldereta, Chicken Pastel, Lumpiang Shanghai and Grilled Pusit. Baby sis, Mae also prepared the ice cream with bananas and chocolate syrup because we liked it so much and Mom bought an ube macapuno roll at goldilocks... simply because it's violet! My mom will never forget na yata that my favorite color ever since I can remember is all shades of violet so even though it's not my favorite cake flavor she bought it for me. Here's several photos taken that day to commemorate the event.

Credits: Muddled Kit by Anita Designs

33 Random Things

33 Things I Want to Share About Me

Since I'm turning 33 several minutes from now, I've decided to share 33 things about myself... This is not in any particular order, I just wrote them as they came to me. Bare with me, this is going to be quite a long post.

1. I'm the eldest of five children born to Adelaida and Hermilo.
2. I'm also the eldest grandchild, both on my Mother's and Father's side but I'm not in the least bit spoiled! nyahahaha, defensive!
3. I’m very sensitive towards others’ feelings as well as their reactions to me but I am not confrontational so I always process my realizations first before making a move.
4. I’m impatient. I hate waiting and I have very low tolerance for incapabilities of others and I normally tell them as non-offensive as possible but only once. After that I just do the deed myself or ask someone more capable to do it.
5. I’m a pre-med graduate and I wanted to go on to medicine proper but decided not to in the end because I had to take into consideration my four younger siblings and the toll it’s going to take on my parents having to send all of us to school.
6. After graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in Biology. I became a bum. I stayed at home just taking care of my youngest sister for a year or so and then the first job I had didn’t have anything to do with my course… I became a Computer Teacher for preschoolers and a courseware developer.
7. I opened my own computer shop/computer tutorials for gradeschool students at age 21 and it was doing ok but I decided to sell the computers and work as a regular employee after a couple of years because I wanted to be able to mingle with more people (hehehe, my computer shop at that time was an extension of our house so I very rarely get out of the house!)
8. I had two serious relationships before I met my husband and two short-term ones.
9. My first kiss happened when I was 16 at our JS Prom, and yes he was my first boyfriend. (one of the two short-term, nyahaha!)
10. I’m grossed out by the mere sight of a lizard, I don’t know why!
11. I am artistically-inclined, whatever that means! But that’s what my evaluator told me after our management evaluation seminar last year.
12. I am very interested in tech gadgets, I don’t necessarily buy the latest gadgets but I just like keeping tabs on what’s new, and what’s hot.
13. I met my husband through the internet. To those who have not read it yet, click here for our Love Story.
14. I like cooking, specially for family and friends. I also dabbled in baking for a while but it’s been a long time since I baked anything from scratch because I have yet to own an oven.
15. I hate doing the laundry! It’s the most tedious house chore I ever have to do and it drains the energy right out of me.
16. Reading, watching DVDs and playing computer games are what I do when my time is not occupied by work or house chores.
17. I became a voracious reader at age 8 when I would spend time at the library while waiting for my mom’s lunch break when she could walk me home. She was the principal of the school I went to during elementary.
18. One of the first books that made an impact on me was “I Wish Had Duck Feet” by Dr. Seuss (Theodore LeSeig) then I had Nancy Drew series (my mom bought me lots of it) then in highschool I had lots of Sweet Valley High and Sweet Dreams books. Now I am collecting books by Sandra Brown (aside of course from the Harry Potter Books)
19. I could sleep for hours and hours… I can’t seem to have enough sleep, specially on rainy days, I could go on sleeping the whole day. I remember in college, after a field activity in Marinduque that lasted for a week, I came home at around four in the morning, just took a quick shower and slept… I woke up around two in the afternoon for a quick trip to the bathroom and to drink a couple of glasses of water then went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until three in the morning the following day because we had another field activity in Baguio!
20. I’m a frustrated designer. I designed my bridal gown and the gowns of all of the female entourage in my wedding plus if I was given cloth as a gift, I think of a design that would best suit that textile, make a drawing and have a dressmaker make it for me.
21. Going to Palawan would be my dream vacation here in the Philippines, Singapore if in Asia but my ultimate dream getaway would be to Florence, Italy.
22. I’m a homebody.
23. I’m a couch potato.
24. I have asthma.
25. I was diagnosed with PCOS about four or five months after I got married. I’m still under medication, and is undergoing fertility treatment.
26. I got married at age 31 but my husband often tells me that he keeps forgetting that I’m older than him by almost three years because I don’t act my age…hehehe, good thing I don’t look my age too, nyahahaha!
27. I’m a hopeless shopaholic and a ditz with the credit card!
28. As a student, I excelled in most subjects except anything that has to do with Math.
29. I did an oil painting once for a humanities class and sold it for P1,800 during a fund raising activity of our school org. for an orphanage.
30. I don’t like noisy, chaotic crowds. That’s why I don’t go out much, to avoid them. I don’t even go to the mall during sales.
31. I like listening to dance music and sometimes dance when I’m all alone at the house. I’m too shy to dance in front of other people.
32. When I’m angry, I don’t talk. I avoid having conversations because I might end up saying something I will regret someday.
33. I have always kept a journal… before I used to write everything in a diary, no skipping of days, every night before I go to sleep, I write. Now I just write when I feel like writing -- which often occurs often enough.

So there, 33 things about me before I turn 33!

Up and at `Em

I remember when I was in gradeschool, my uncle gave me an alarm clock because i was always hard to wake up in the mornings to prepare for school. The clock was bear-shaped and instead of the usual beeps or rings that alarm clocks make, it says "up and at `et, up and at `em" repeatedly until you press the bear's nose. I wish I still have that clock but unfortunately, i wasn't such an organized child so i don't even know what happened to it. Anyways, why am I writing about a lost clock that's a couple of decades old? Well, it's because I had a really hard time waking up today, I felt nauseous and my head was pounding. I feel like I'm going to have a fever any minute now... I'm here at work though and is trying to cope with the workload as well as feeling sick, plus I have to go to Subic tomorrow for a 3-day seminar.

Going Bananas

Today, my sisters and I decided to make banana splits of sorts... we were just looking for a different kind of snack and when we looked at the contents of my refrigerator and freezer, we found a pint of vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup. We sliced a couple of bananas in an ice-cream dish, placed a scoop of ice cream on top and drizzled it with chocolate syrup... yummy! hay naku, extra calories gained again! Too bad I wasn't able to take a picture, it was really a delicious treat both to the palate and to the eyes.

Stormed In

Hubby and I were not able to go to work last tuesday because of the heavy rains... our village was not exactly flooded but the street immediately outside the gates of our subdivision was... besides charlie was a little apprehensive about the heavy rains because the previous rainfall brought about the discovery of a leak in the roof right above our kitchen area which led us to inform our landlord and he sent a repairman right away but we were still apprehensive because this is the first time we would be able to check if the repair solved the leak problem. Anyways, while we were stormed in and watching TV, I came across a video featured at Soundtrack Channel which really hits the bullseye when it comes to the drastic weather changes that we are having nowadays...

Daddy Turns 60

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Yesterday was fun and tiring for me... My dad turned 60 and I volunteered to prepare a special birthday lunch for him so our family could celebrate together. I cooked mechado, chicken fillet with mixed vegetables and quail eggs, grilled squid, lechon kawali & banana fritters with chocolate syrup. We only had few pictures because I was so tired from the preparations that I forgot about that. And right after lunch, my Dad fell asleep on the couch while we were watching CSI Supreme Sunday. They left at around three in the afternoon then Charlie and I re-arranged our plants and dog house... Whew! It was really quite a tiring but very productive weekend for me. I got to finish a lot of chores and even managed to give my dad a birthday blow-out.



Credits: Sweet and Sassy Papers and Tag by Anita Designs; Celebrate banner by Julia Van Der Werf