On All Souls' Day

Hubby and I weren't able to go to Ilocos to visit his father's grave since I still wasn't allowed to go on long drives plus we only had the weekend to do so, so... We offered candles and prayers instead to our dearly departed...

Prayer for the Departed

O Master, Lord our God, Who in Thy wisdom hast created man, and didst honor him with Thy Divine image, and place in him the spirit of life, and lead him into this world, bestowing on him the hope of resurrection and life everlasting; and after he had violated Thy commandments, Thou O Gracious lover of mankind, didst descend to the earth that Thou mightest renew again the creation of Thy hands. Therefore we pray Thee, O All-Holy Master give rest to the souls of Thy servants, Eleuterio, Ildefonso, Arsenio, Jesus and Eduardo, in a place of brightness, a place of green pasture, a place of repose, and, in that they have sinned in word, or deed or thought forgive them: For Thou art a good God and lovest mankind and unto Thee do we ascribe Glory, together with Thy Father, Who is from everlasting and Thine All-Holy and good, and ever giving Spirit, now, and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Mixed Bag

I have a mixed bag right now... A mix of good and bad news that is... Let me start by saying a story and then you'll know why...

Monday morning (June 23), hubby and I decided to go to my OB a day early for my check up mainly because I have been experiencing pain for a couple of days very similar to menstrual cramps and so off to the doctor we went, leaving our cellphones in the house. Upon arrival at the hospital, I went straight to get a transvaginal ultrasound (as instructed by my OB a couple of weeks back). While lying back and waiting for the sonologist, I closed my eyes and said a prayer that this time they would tell me everything's going smoothly and my baby's just fine but when the sonologist started the procedure, the first thing she asked me was "nag-bleeding ka ba?" (did you experience bleeding?) and I said "no" and then after a couple of seconds she asked again "nag-spotting ka ba?" and I answered "no" again but I was starting to feel panic already. Again, after a couple of seconds she said "when you peed before the trans-v did you see blood?" and quite impatiently I said "no, nothing... why?" but she only said "your doctor will explain to you later" making me worry even more. By that time, I was fighting the urge to cry because in my mind I was already thinking the worst and then after a few more seconds I heard something, a soft beating of some kind and the sonologist said "that's your baby's heartbeat" and then pointing at the screen she said and that's your baby. At that time, I didn't know whether I was going to say thank you or slap her silly for making me think the worst. Tears just started falling down my face and a surge of relief came over me. While waiting for the printout of the ultrasound report Charlie and I were already excited to talk to my OB and go to my parents house to share the good news. The doctor said I had minimal subchorionic bleeding and that the baby was a bit small for it's gestational age so she instructed me to go on bedrest until I have hurdled my first trimester which was in a month's time and prescribed new vitamins and duphaston for the bleeding. It was a minor setback that I was willing to accept considering it was really a blessing that this miracle of life is slowly revealing it's wonders to us. From the hospital we went straight to my parents' home and imparted to them the news. We had lunch there and rested for a couple of hours before heading home (stopping by the drugstore for the medications, first of course). When we arrived at our house around 3pm, Charlie found his phone had 10 missed calls already from his cousin in Ilocos and a text message saying "Insan san ka? tawag ka, importante lang!" (cousin where are you, please call, it's important) but before he could even make the call, his phone started ringing again and when he answered his cousin told him that his father (who has been bed-ridden for almost a year now after suffering from 3 strokes in the past 4 years) is already asking for him (Charlie) and from the looks of it, is not going to last for long anymore. Of course, my hubby was shocked with this piece of news, he said he would not be able to go to Ilocos right away since the following day, Tuesday (June 24) was Manila day, was a holiday therefore he wouldn't be able to ask for leave from his superiors, besides he didn't think it was wise to leave me alone. But I said I would be fine and should probably stay at my parents' house while he was gone... Anyways, to cut it shorter, it was decided that he was going to go home to Ilocos on Wednesday night instead while his older brother would be going home Tuesday night. Upon arrival in Ilocos on Thursday morning, Charlie found his father has already died. Which was too bad because he wasn't able to say goodbye properly but he was able to accept it fairly well considering he has been suffering for a long time already. At least Tata, would have no more pain anymore... Charlie's still there because the burial is set for tomorrow, Tuesday (July 1) and I miss him a lot but I wasn't allowed to follow him due to my doctor's orders. As for me, My official leave from work starts today, unfortunately my one-month leave is going to be without pay and so, it's going to be a bit of a stretch financially for us... But so far, I have not been experiencing pain anymore and my parents and siblings has been feeding me all kinds of healthy food. I am being treated like a princess, not having to lift a finger when I need something. And Charlie has been calling me everynight assuring me that everything's going to be just fine and we will soon be together again to take care of our baby. That's it, that's my mixed bag...

P.S. More of my baby's 8 weeks and 1 day ultrasound when I get to scan it later...

On the Road to Recovery

I guess it is quite a feat to overcome sadness and despair when one has lost a loved one, I witnessed my cousins grief today as we bid our farewell to Tito Eddie. His eldest daughter, Elida, particularly was wailing and calling out "Daddy, Daddy" as his coffin was being lowered to the ground... And I fought to hold back the tears because I know how painful it must be for her. It is just a blessing that her children were all there to cry with her and then later on to try and amuse her. She was not able to refuse to smile when her youngest daughter tried to entertain her on the way back to the house. God really works in mysterious ways... He knows how to slowly heal broken hearts... to slowly ease the pain of the bereaved. Thank God that my cousins, neices and nephews are all going to be alright.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

They say disasters come in threes... If it really does, then, thank God! Because These past week or so has left me really tired and emotionally drained. First Baby Marian (my niece) had measles and so she was super irritable for several days and she even lost her otherwise healthy appetite. She lost a little weight but now she's fine... the red marks all gone and she is slowly but surely gaining back the weight she lost.

And then one of the workers in the house my parents are renovating had an accident. He fell from a scaffolding and injured his left arm. He got a huge gash running from an inch below his wrist to his elbow. He was also black and blue for a couple of days, but thankfully the wound is healing fast and he said he was okay to go back to work.

And then the last (hopefully) of these series of unfortunate events... My Uncle Eddie (my mother's brother) died last Saturday from a lingering lung disease. He has been suffering for a long time now and we all feel that he is in a better place right now. Away from pain and suffering, away from sickness and sadness. Yes, we, his family, mourn the death of a loved one but we also are thankful that his ordeal is over. Your children and grandchildren will always remember you and keep your loving memories. We love you Tito Eddie!

Hasta La Vista, Uncle Jessie

I know I have been remiss at updating my blog this past week but I have a valid and sad reason for that... My Uncle Jessie, my mom's younger brother passed away last Thursday, September 20, 2007. He has been undergoing Hemodialysis for the past 19 months and then last Monday, after his usual dialysis schedule, he was supposed to have gone for check up about his foot which was aching due to a wound that has not healed for the past couple of months (he's diabetic) when the doctors adviced them that he needs to get confined because aside from the aching foot, he had difficulty breathing. On Wednesday, he was brought to PGH for angiogram and subsequently, when it was found out that two tubes going to the heart are blocked, he underwent angioplasty to unblock the said tubes. And although the doctor said that there was still a risk of cardiac arrest while of immediately after this procedure, he seemed fine after that even my aunt Viring with whom Uncle Jessie stays with and is responsible for all the medical treatments he's getting, said that although Uncle Jessie was screaming that he didn't want to live anymore, she was sure that it was just the after effects of the anesthesia and that when he comes out of it, it looks like he was going to be fine. He was brought back to Perpetual Hospital and was confined at the ICU. Thursday was a different story though... Uncle Jessie took a turn for the worse and by late afternoon, the medications which were dripping through an IV were stopped and a priest was called. By nightfall, after having seen his two sons, Uncle Jessie closed his eyes and went to better place... a place where he would suffer no more, a place where all his pain will go away, place where he could truly rest in peace. Yesterday, before his body was put to the ground, the priest who said the mass said that it is wrong to say goodbye during times like these because we are not truly saying goodbye, we should just say "hasta la vista" or see you later because each one of us will eventually see each other sooner or later... in that place called heaven. So I say this to you uncle jessie, thank you for watching over us and yes... we'll see you later!

Credits: ribboned frame by Petit Moineaux

P.S. I was late in publishing this... I have saved the draft last monday (today is wednesday already) but for some reason I keep getting an error message whenever I try to publish.